If you have ever been leading a meeting that ended in lack of agreement, hard feelings, or a sense of futility, then your team has experienced conflict.
The most obvious indicator of brewing conflict is “verbal elbowing”—when members start cutting each other off mid-sentence. If these interruptions persist, then the purpose of the meeting typically takes a back seat to the conversational struggle among attendees. When members are no longer listening to each other, a positive meeting outcome is compromised.
Raised voices and oppressive repetition are other clues that trouble is afoot. Watch for dissatisfied facial expressions, confusion, boredom, doodling, heads down, frustration, looking away from earnest debaters.
Also look for divisive alliances. When two people divide the group on an issue, they may not realize that they are vying for power. When this occurs, the meeting topic typically becomes subordinate to their press for control.
Leadership conflicts are common, but they can be addressed in-process rather than by comments that sidestep the subject of debate. Many managers ignore the early warning signs to avoid “ruffling feathers.” However, listening to different perspectives is different from breeding conflict. Unconsciousness in power struggles is not the same as honoring diverse solution alternatives during brainstorming.
All of us are impacted by group dynamics. Even with the ascribed power of formal leadership in a group, we, too, can get drawn into verbal jousting, even if we prefer to refrain. By looking past the subject of conversation and spotting the early signs of conflict, we can help ourselves and our teams get unstuck more efficiently. With awareness of what we are DOING rather than what we are SAYING, we can avoid inadvertently taking sides. Teams can then increase their chances of staying on task and accomplishing the goals of their meeting.
Simple process comments are:
- This group is stuck. What are people seeing in this meeting now?
- The group is in conflict, is that what you want?
- How can we end the conflict?
- Does anyone recognize who is in conflict right now?
- What is this group doing, now?
Describe, rather than prescribe!
Despite that early signs of conflict are often obvious, many managers miss them, failing to steer their teams back to the course of collegial support and trust.